Window to My Heart

For Today… December 20, 2008

Outside my Window... The ground is covered with many inches of snow, which I am already getting quite sick of. Spending 10 hrs in the car yesterday going to a family Christmas gathering (and most of it driving in the storm that came through) makes me want to hibernate until spring.

I am thankful for... My family. There is no one else I'd rather be stuck in the car for hours on end with other than my family members. :)

I am wearing... A green, long-sleeve shirt with jeans and socks (which would not be worn if it was hot).

I am reading... I took along my favorite fun reading book yesterday. If you have not read any of the James Herriott series, you need to. :) He was a country vet in England in the 1930's and he writes about all the adventures he had. Very funny!

I am praying... A co-worker and family who is having a difficult time this Christmas. Also, my brother and sister-in-law in OK for 2 weeks.

I am hearing... Christmas music on the radio...my roommate making lunch...

Around the house... Things are still rather unorganized from getting our new kitchen cabinets (they are AWESOME!). Everything is still in the living room. Tomorrow the exterminator is coming since other apartments have had roaches in them! Yuck! So all items must be removed from all closets, and cabinets. Lovely! I cant wait for January when things will be normal (hopefully).

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week... I can't WAIT for Christmas! I love holidays...not having to work, having family around, getting to make more memories...

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you...Hope you have a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Substantial Flummadiddles

I am attempting to inject a little levity into this blog as it reflects my too often serious self. :) We shall see how it goes.

Paths Unknown

Have you ever noticed how at certain times in your life you make a sequence of decisions that, had you changed just one, would have led you down a totally different path? Or it just may have taken you longer to get to the place you are presently.

There have been several of these situations in my life. I am amazed when I look back and try to figure out how I made various choices. A couple different options were possible, but it's hard to know what made me choose one over the others. The only thing I can think of is that it was God.

God does not always show up clearly in every situation, but He is there if you listen. I believe sometimes He shows Himself in "gut feelings" too. It is so good to know that if we are faithful, He is faithful.

Pictures Describe Me

I found this on a friend's blog and thot it would be fun to do. :)

Here’s how it works:
a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
b. Using only the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into mosaic maker. Choose 3 columns with 4 rows.

The Questions:

1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One Word to describe you.
12. Your favorite animal.

my answers: 1. andrea 2. italian food 3. homeschooled 4. red 5. heath ledger 6. juice 7. europe 8. chocolate 9. wife/mother 10. family 11. sophisticated 12. dog

"The trial that you are facing today is not too big for God to handle. As a matter of fact, being the loving parent that He is, He may be rescuing you from certain death. Believe Him … Trust Him … Love Him despite your circumstances. Someday you will look back on this time and see His hand was there all along." - Luann Prater

This quote especially spoke to me today. We often look only at our struggles and forget about God. We think our struggles are too big to conquer on our own...and they are. But God will make us MORE the conquerors, if we trust in Him. So often I look at what I THINK I can do and don't believe what God SAYS He will do. Oh for Grace to trust Him more!

River God

Rolling River God
Little Stones are smooth
Only once the water passes through
So I am a stone
rough and grainy still
Trying to reconcile this river's chill

CHORUS:
But when I close my eyes
and feel you rushing by
I know that time brings change
and change takes time
And when the sunset comes
my prayer would be just this one
that you might pick me up
and notice that I am
just a little smoother in your hand

Sometimes raging wild
sometimes swollen high
never have I known this river dry
The deepest part of you
is where I want to stay
and feel the sharpest edges wash away

River God - Nichole Nordeman

Every trial that we go thru washes some of our sharp edges away. Often it takes a long time for change to be seen, but never doubt that change is happening. Look at the big picture and realize that we only become smooth when the river passes thru. It is God who is using all that happens in our lives to smooth us and make us who He wants us to be. God is always looking out for good. He will never fail.

Deserts

You are the One; there's no one else
Who lifts me up
And gives me water from the well
But there's a hole
That seems to drain it all away
And once again I'm left in fear and doubt
When all my strength is crying out

So here I am again
Willing to be opened up and broken like a flower in the rain
Tell me what have I to do
To die and then be raised
To reach beyond the pain
Like a flower in the rain

The evil wind, it blows a storm
To rock my world
Just when I think I'm safe and warm
I'm led astray far too easily
It's always hard for me to say I'm wrong
Until I know I can't go on

Lord, You have searched me
And know when I sleep and when I rise
You're familiar with all my ways
Even the darkness will shine
Like the day
When you look into my heart
Flower in the Rain - Jaci Velasquez


So, I'm up later than I usually am. For some reason I can't sleep. I've been thinking about wildernesses and deserts that God leads us thru. I've discovered He takes us thru for different purposes, two of which are: He wants to bring us to a place we could never have gotten to on our own, and He wants to teach us things about ourself and Himself we could never have learned apart from going thru the desert. When we are in the middle of desert, very rarely can we see what the purpose is. It is only after we have reached the other side that we discover what God wanted to show us about Himself. God never wastes a desert experience. Our job is to learn what He wants to teach us.

Turn your eyes

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His Glory and Grace. - Helen Lemmel

This is by far my favorite chorus. Ever since I was about 8 years old I have loved it. 
And everytime I sing it at church or any other place I get a warm feeling and it makes 
me happy.  

Fear

Peter said to Him, "Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water." And He said, "Come!" And Peter got out of the boat, and walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But seeing the wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, "Lord, save me!" Immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him, and said to him, "You of little faith, why did you doubt?" When they got into the boat, the wind stopped. And those who were in the boat worshiped Him, saying, "You are certainly God's Son!" Matthew 14:28-33

Overcoming fear is like walking a tightrope or walking on water. If Jesus asks you to face a fear He is going to be there for you...He will be in front of you asking you to focus on Him and to not look down. Looking down and thinking about what we are doing instead of who Jesus is and what HE is doing only causes problems.

Jesus called Peter out of the boat while the wind was blowing hard and the waves were rocking the boat. And yet when Peter and Jesus got into the boat everything became calm. Jesus often calls us to face our fears when things seem the hardest, but He always will lead us to a place of peace. And He does it in a way that He gets the greatest amount of glory.

Is it time for you to get out of the boat? :)

Future Grace

"It is enough to know that I will receive grace. I will know the presence of the Spirit and I will die, or be rescued, in a way that pleases the Lord." - Ed Welch, Running Scared

One of the most transformational quotes of all time to my life. :) May I always live this way.

It was the joy of Jesus...

"Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:2

"What was that which made Jesus speak like this?—"For the joy that was set before him." Beloved, what was the joy? Oh, 'tis a thought must melt a rock, and make a heart of iron move; that the joy which was set before Jesus, was principally joy of saving you and me. I know it was the joy of fulfilling his Father's will—of sitting down on his Father's throne—of being made perfect through suffering; but still I know that this is the grand, great motive of the Saviour's suffering, the joy of saving us." - C.H. Spurgeon

I never really understood what brought Jesus joy in going to the cross, but this quote from Spurgeon makes it clear. Jesus died for us because it gave Him joy to save us. I don't know about you, but joy is the LAST thing I would be thinking about if I were asked to die for someone. My mind would be on the suffering and the pain. And yet, Jesus bore our sin because saving us made him happy. To know that Jesus saved me while I was still in sin is wonderful, but to know that it brought Him JOY to save me while I was still in sin is almost incomprehensible. We offend Him and He happily draws us to Himself. Wow. And this is MY God! :)

God is...

I just came across this blog. It is the story of the birth and short life of the daughter of one of the members of Selah. The entire blog is so good...but especially the April 6th post I have linked below. God really is Who He says He is...if only we will let Him be God. :)

http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/2008/04/he.html

Do you ever...

wonder why you were made the way you were, blemishes and all? I was just thinking about that, and I believe that it is those blemishes that lead us closer to God. If life was wonderful all the time how would we ever grow? Why would we ever need God? He puts things in our lives that cause us to draw nearer to Him, and because the only way thru something is by God's grace it is He who gets the glory. Isn't that cool? I'm so glad life is not about me. :) I hate being the star of the show anyway, so it's good all around. :)

I was deceived...spring will never come. I guess I'm left to embrace winter. *sigh*

It finally feels like spring. Almost.

I can't wait to wear springy clothes. :)

Why does Easter have to come so soon this year? At least we waited a week...Abby and Ben were in Costa Rica so we couldn't celebrate without them. There's a little less snow now, which is good because we usually do an outdoor egg hunt and that'd be difficult with snow.

I like Spring. :)

Who...

are you listening to? I am reading thru a book right now "Running Scare" by Ed Welch. The subtitle is "Fear, Worry and the God of Rest". It is so good.

One thing that I am realizing (once again) is how much of a battle there is for our hearts and minds.

"It is strategic ground, so we expect the battle to be fierce. From the Accuser's perspective we couldn't be anymore susceptible to defeat. When trouble is on the horizon we already feel alone. We feel like we have to rely on ourselves. We might know what God says but it doesn't seem relevant to the emerging crisis. We have a sense that the kingdom is for the future but our needs and worries are in the present....

The kingdom of Heaven, however, has clearly forseen that this is where the battle would rage, and it is prepared...."

1 Peter 5:7-8 say "cast(e) all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. Be of sober spirit, be on the alert Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour."

It is when we begin to be anxious, have negative thots, not seeing ourselves how God sees us that we need to remember who we are listening to. God is peace...and he wants peace for us as well, but we need to fight for it. It is our job to ask ourselves if we are listening to the Right One. His yoke is easy and His burden is light and He longs for us to find rest in Him.

Just when you think...

the world is against you, God shows you He hasn't forgotten. There's been things going on at work that I just don't appreciate...Supposedly I am to know information that I've never been told. And "fix" things that I didn't know were "broken". The only reason I know this is being said about me is because my dad told me. Frankly, it is highly unreasonable to expect someone with just a few years of experience to work as efficiently as someone with 20+ yrs experience. *sigh* But today, after I'd been stressing about these things for a few days, I got a little sign. One of my co-workers gave me a little Easter gift...not anything too big, but enough for me to feel a little special. Thank you Jesus.

Why...

I decided to start a blog because I like to say things once in a while . ;) Sometimes it's long, sometimes it's short. All depends on the day.